Not nearly good enough at saying thank you

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I realised something walking home today.

Walking along my street, the sun orange in the clouds, the air crisp and cold, no one around, I realised that if you took everything else away, there would still be God and me. God… and me.

Today I realised that when Jesus was up on that cross – that was for me. Today, right now, on my little street, in my little city, in my little body, for my little soul.

That used to sound selfish – surely it was more proper to say God sent Jesus to die for us. Because surely, He did.

But today it seemed more helpful to consider it for just me. I used to hear “God would still have sent Jesus to die on the cross if you were the only person on earth” and smile and nod and shrug it off as a pleasant cliché. Today it hit me like a lightning bolt of responsibility, and suddenly the stakes got a lot higher. The air got a lot fresher, the colours in the sky got a lot brighter, and heaven and earth got a lot more real.

If Jesus died on the cross just for me, I wouldn’t be able to hide behind the billions of other people on earth who also sent Him there. Right now, I hide. Sometimes unintentionally, sometimes ashamedly not.

If Jesus died on the cross just for me, I would be the only one God would be looking at to see how much I appreciated His gift. There would be no one else to hide behind.

I think if God were looking only at me, I would try harder. And even though He’s not… I want to.

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Filed under God, life, love

Tags: cross, earth, gift, God, grace, heaven, Jesus, life, love, thank you