Gentle. Soft. Delicate.

Today it is raining.
Today I wish I was cuddled up on the couch under a big blanket with a cup of tea… watching the raindrops drip down as they hit my window.
Today I wish I could be still.
And silent.
Watch the sky, watch the clouds. Hear the clouds rumble as they make more raindrops to hit [...]

Realer than the reality that put me here in the first place

Today I am so aware of my humanity.
I am so aware of my failures, that in me that causes others pain. That in me that feels pain from them too. That in me that is real… raw… feeling. That in me that ignores reality and carries on regardless.
Funny, that part of me that is so [...]

Hope does a lot of promising for not having the strongest track record

Everything hope lives in is so vulnerable. So shakeable, so changeable, so delicate. I suppose it has to be. I suppose that’s the very nature of hope.
But it makes it harder. And yet (hopefully), no less possible.
Hope is in that which is never sure… never absolute, never completely understood, not quite realised. It holds your [...]

If there’s nothing different in me, let it be

I am.
not interested.
in being one.
of many.
If so.
I would prefer.
to stand up.
alone.

Me when I’ve been elsewhere

The first holiday I can remember was to a tiny beach town called Robe in South Australia. I think I must have been around eight years old – Mum and Dad had booked this holiday house for a week or so and piled my sister and I into the car jammed between folded bedsheets and [...]

Not nearly good enough at saying thank you

I realised something walking home today.
Walking along my street, the sun orange in the clouds, the air crisp and cold, no one around, I realised that if you took everything else away, there would still be God and me. God… and me.
Today I realised that when Jesus was up on that cross – that was [...]

Liberty.

Let your mind go and (maybe) your body will follow.
Lose yourself in your head, in your heart. (in your dreams).
Stop thinking enough to let new thoughts come.
And maybe, when you pick up a pen, your hand will know what to write, your legs will know where to walk, and your arms will know who to [...]

One day left of winter

Goodbye:
- rad black stockings
- raindrops when I’m sleeping
- baby-doll coat
- Palmer’s Cocoa Butter
- puddles on the pavement
- long, long scarves
- noisy (p)leather jacket that screeches when I move
- cold hands when I’m typing
- orange light of the heater turned up to three
- don’t-know-where-I-found-you-duck-handle umbrella
- constant threat of flu
- electric blanket and the weird dreams it brings
- wipers on [...]

Sentences uttered while I was in the room

Someone once told me they saw longing in my eyes.
They told me they saw a little pain in my eyes, too. They thought it was related to my father. I wondered if they were just guessing.
My father once told me I had an old soul. He said he had a young one. Or maybe he [...]

The hallway

It makes sense to pray for God to open doors He wants you to walk through, and close others He wants you to stay away from.
But that really doesn’t save you from much when you’re already standing in the doorway. You still get hurt when the door slams shut.
I think it’s safer waiting in the hall.